Sunday, December 9, 2012

We have to do what?...

Sometimes out of nowhere something happens and you just have to sit back and go, "Where in the world did that come from?" Well, I know that God is sovereign, so ultimately I know the answer is it did not come from this world but from God.  But there are just times when I just look up and go, "Really?"  Now, I cannot pretend to understand God's timing, plan, or wisdom.  I have no idea what he is doing and the longer I live the more I realize that. 

Wednesday was one of those days.We found out that out of nowhere and without any warning our landlord needs us to vacate our home because his son is in need of it to use as a refuge and recovery from financial troubles.  I get that it is family first.  I understand that it was a blessing and a curse not having an official lease.  I understand that this house prayerfully will be a blessing to this family with all of the repairs and updates that Mark and I have done to it.  And I pray that this home will be a place of healing and rest for this young family who needs it.  But this is the home that my husband has been working on and keeping up for 6+ years free of charge.  The home that we have been painting for months.  The home that we have been posting pictures of and excitedly talking about for months.  The home that we had our first Thanksgiving in.  The home that we already have so many memories together in.  The home that we just moved all of my stuff into a month ago.  The home that I just changed my mailing address to on Monday!  Yeah, that home. Not exactly what we were expecting when we were unpacking all of my personal belongings.

In one year we have managed to cram moving states, changing jobs, getting married, and now apparently we have to start house hunting.  Before we got married Mark and I had discussed the possibility of moving by way of either renting some place new or even buying.  We came to the conclusion that we would stay in this home and save money for seminary and the future and revisit that prospect in a couple of years.  It is interesting when you think you are doing the wise thing and you find out that God wants you to do a different wise thing.  So, we are now trying to answer all those questions we had before we were married only now we have a deadline to make them all and complete that process whatever it may be.  Questions like, do we rent or buy?  If we buy do we get a 2 bedroom or 3 bedroom?  If we buy how long term are we wanting/needing to think?  Do we try to stay in St. Elmo?  Do we try to find a halfway point between church and work?  If we buy what does that mean for seminary in the future?  Do we buy a foreclosure or do we buy a regular sale?  If we rent do we find a house that will let us keep our pit bull?  Do we send her to Indiana to stay with Mark's parents until we can take her back and get an apartment?  There are so many questions.  These are the joys of growing up I suppose. 

God has been so faithful to us even in the time of complete uncertainty.  Because through this he is causing us to lean on him and to grow in our faith.  He is causing us to learn how to be adults doing adult things that neither of us have ever done before (it helps being married to a 30 year old because you are already ahead of the game some. Just FYI, ladies).  It is causing me to seek my husband's guidance and headship over others, even my own.  And I believe it is generally bonding us closer going through this.  Honestly, there is no one I would rather go through this with than Mark Miller.  

So the moral of this story so far is yes, we have done a lot of work on this house.  Mark, far more than I.  Yes, Mark was very attached to this house and I was becoming very attached.  Yes, this is the house that we have already started creating memories in.  Yes, this is the house that we had our first Thanksgiving in and will have our first Christmas in.  Yes, we were excited about painting.  Yes, we were looking forward to several years in this house enjoying the fruits of our labors.  But God just keeps reminding me that the while the work Mark and I have done won't be benefiting us after March, it is not going to be wasted.  It is just not for who we had planned it to be.  But you know what?  It is for who God planned it to be.  And I should consider it an honor to be able to be apart of someone else's answered prayer.

TTFN
Rachel Miller