The link above is to an article by John Piper, a pastor out in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of over 30 books, and most famously for "Desiring God".
In Sunday school last week the leader got up and read this article to the class of college students and 20-somethings. With every sentence I was more convicted and inspired. Ladies, raise your hand if you have ever heard your girlfriend or yourself say, "What has happened to the men out there? Why aren't they stepping up?" Raise your hand if you ever heard the phrase "man-child"? Raise your hand if you or anyone you know stay in school year after year either not graduating or adding a string of letters to their name without much direction, rhyme or reason. Raise your hand if you or someone you know has turned down a job because it didn't give you enough free time to "do your own thing." Raise your hand if you or someone you know has said "Why move out of my parents house? My mom cooks, cleans, does my laundry, and it's all free?" Raise your hand if you ever said to yourself "I am way to young to get married! I just graduated college!" Raise your hand if you ever balked at a friend or acquaintance when you discovered they are engaged to be married before the "sensible" age of 25+? Raise your hand if you ever told that same person that they had lost their mind and they were throwing their life away by getting married so young? Is your hand raised? Because mine is.
Why are guys still living at home with their parents well into their 20s? Why are people staying in college longer? Why are we constantly needing "more time"? Why do we keep putting off adulthood? I must admit that this is a pet-peeve of mine. Why is society pressuring us to stay children? Why do we constantly hear grown-ups tell us, "You have all the time in the world!" "Enjoy your freedom!" "Live a little!" "Don't throw away all this opportunity!" This is usually in response to engagement and birth announcements. This is in response to "No, I am not going to grad-school." This is the retort for pretty much anytime someone younger that 30 says they are ready to be settled in a job, a relationship, a town, a life.
I have to admit that I have often fallen right into that reaction. Either out of habit or I am ashamed to say peer-pressure. I was just hanging out with a friend of mine from college a few days ago. We were in Panera. She was studying and I was doing some work. There were 2 ladies behind us and the younger of the 2 was giving a very long detailed and audible story of how she met her fiance. The woman said she was 21. At that announcement my friend almost spewed her sweet tea. After they left, with wide eyes my friend said to me, "Can you believe that?! She is getting married and she is only 21!" I wasn't very shocked because I am "only" 21 and I could totally see myself married (I have no idea to whom, but still I don't consider myself to young for the institution.) My friend continued, "I am 23 and I am not trying to get married! I am fine! I have stuff I want to do!" My only surprise at the stranger's story was that the woman said that she had met her fiance online and I was rather surprised that a 21 had thought it necessary to take charge like that so young and that she had only known her fiance for a few months. But I did not think it inappropriate for her to make that powerful of a commitment at her age and really it wasn't any of my business, after all I was only eavesdropping. But my friend was very adamant.
That got me to thinking. Why is it so taboo now to get married before you graduate college or before you are 25? I am not saying that you should all run out and get married to the first guy you find or that you are an old maid because you are not married by now. Marriage is only one of the steps a person takes along the road of life and into adulthood.
What does all this "adultolescents" boil down too? Selfishness and fear. We are afraid to grow-up. We are to self-absorbed to become adults. We don't want to take on adult responsibilities because they aren't fun. Do you realize that only a few decades ago, in your parents and grandparents era 18 year old men were working full-time at a job that they would most likely not leave unless fired? An 18 year old woman was most likely engaged to be married and planning her life with her husband. The average 21 year old man and woman already had a child or 2. The average 20-something was a stable and settled member of society?
Does the Proverbs 31 woman shrink from responsibility? Does she tell her husband and children "I am way to young to be dealing with all of your problems?" Does she long for the days when she could sleep in all day long and all she had to worry about was her physics exam next week? No. What are you afraid of? Real life is coming whether you like it or not and we are called to be mature about it. What is the greatest sign of maturity? Being others-minded. Is that something that you have to wait until after school to acquire? Is that something that you need to be 25+ to attain? Shoot, other-mindedness is something that a 12 year old can possess. Maybe you are mature. Maybe you realized you are not.
“Do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.” 1 Corinthians 14:20.
"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways." 1 Corinthians 13:11
If you feel that the life that God has called you to means that you require more schooling than by all means do not take this as advice against that. Or if you are single and feel that God has legitimately called you to that life then please do not take this as an encouragement to ignore God's call. If you are unable to move out of your parent's home because of a disability then do not take this as a sign of failure or disobedience. But if you are using schooling or living with your parents or putting off marriage because you are afraid of real life or don't think you are "ready" to be an adult. I hope that Piper's article will make you think and really pray and do some self-examination and that it will inspire and convict you just as it has me!
REE
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