The Adventure Continues

The last post I wrote was a very hard post to write for me.  As many of you know the very reason I started this blog was to invite you into a journey towards fulltime ministry.  When I began this blog I was hopeful and expectant of what I thought the journey would look like.  There were doubts and some trepidation of course as I welcomed you into my insecurity but I felt a call and I some how thought that automatically guaranteed my plans. I had visions of meeting with college girls and being as well loved as my own RUF intern had been. I imagined hard struggles but mostly good memories of diving head first into college ministry, changing the world one freshman at a time.  I could picture meeting another like minded college ministry focused guy, falling madly in love, and then embarking on the great adventure that is RUF Campus Ministry life. With each blog post I wrote the more my imagination ran and the more deeply in love I fell with my wonderful plan for my life. I just knew that God couldn't deny such a good and heart felt desire that I felt so clearly called to. And then He did. The rug seemingly got ripped out from under me and suddenly I was having to write that shame filled post informing everyone that I had failed. That I had got it wrong. That I had been rejected. That the door to what I wanted my life to be had been slammed in my face. The hurt was so real I could taste it and it was bitter. It has taken a long time to heal.  In fact, the broken bits still cause me discomfort at times, which, is why inviting you into that vulnerability again was even more difficult this time.  But I knew I needed to write it.  I had to share. I had to allow myself to be vulnerable again because I need prayer. I need accountability. I need to swallow my pride.  There were still wounds from the past and this time it didn't involve just me. I didn't want my husband to have to go through the hurt that my heart had suffered. I did not think I could take it if another door closed yet again for both of us.  I couldn't bare to see that look in my love's eyes.  When I wrote my last post I didn't want to hope. I didn't want to dream. I wanted to state the facts. I wanted to ask for prayer because I knew whatever my next post would be it would be a difficult one because either way there were rough times ahead and only the grace of God and much prayer would get us through.

I was working late one Friday night a few weeks ago. I was tired and very ready to go home. That was when I received a phone call from my husband.  "I did it!" Those were the 3 words I didn't dare to hope for.  Those 3 little words that have changed everything and instantly brought tears of joy and relief. The letter that began with "I am please to inform you . . . " My husband was resoundingly accepted into seminary! He begins in the Fall.

My prayers are as follows:
1. That I will be the supportive and encouraging wife my husband needs.
2. Perseverance and strength through Christ.
3. Growth in grace as our Father molds us into His image.

Thanks be to God!!!!!
REM