The very
catalyst for this blog’s existence is rooted deeply in a love and desire for
ministry. Throughout the years that I
have been writing this blog you have gone along with me on the ups and downs
and the doors opening and closing. It has
been a road that at times has been bright and exciting and time when the road
has been so flooded with tears that I couldn’t even see the road anymore. Ministry is not an easy thing to be called
too. It calls you to make a vocation of
being others-focused, which for any human heart, particularly mine, is no small
request. It commands you to step out of
your comfort zone and talk to people who might reject you, mock you, or even
harm you. So far it has demanded more
faith from me than anything ever has and it is not even my literal job yet. There are times when fear sets in. There are times when doubts arise. There are times when I am discouraged or
tired or just want to be selfish for a while.
There are times when I think, “Wouldn’t it be so much easier to just not
go there? Wouldn’t it be so much easier to just keep to myself and let the
world just pass me by in peace?” There
are times when I think, “What if I got this wrong? What if I totally misinterpreted
God’s leading? What if I completely missed the boat?” There are even more times when my brain
screams, “Lord, you picked the wrong girl! I can’t do this! I am too
messy! I am too broken! I am too afraid!
I am too self-concerned! I am not cut out for this. How could I possibly be any
use to you in this? You have clearly made a mistake.” Strangely enough though
in spite of all of that, most times I am so on fire about doing full time
ministry that my skin tingles with excitement.
Either I will be talking to a coworker or I will be teaching my high
school discipleship group or having coffee with a friend or I will just be sitting
in a sermon and I will be flooded with a renewed sense of purpose. In those little flashes God refutes my doubts
and my objections. He speaks truth back
into me and says, “Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your
God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, and I will uphold you with my
righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).”
It is
with all of that I invite you deeper into my world of ministry. I welcome you to come along with Mark and me
as we set out on an adventure. I beg you
to pray with and for us as we step out on faith to pursue what we believe
whole-heartedly God has called of us for our marriage. Last fall Mark applied to the Reformed
Theological Seminary (RTS) in Atlanta, GA.
It is our hope and prayer that in the fall of 2014 he will begin online
and commuter classes in their Diploma program with the end goal of becoming an
ordained pastor in the Presbyterian Church in America. RTS accepts a small percentage of non-degreed
applicants every semester. Mark has his
Associates degree but not Bachelors at this time although he has completed a
number of accredited hours through correspondence courses at The Bible Institute
in South Africa (BISA). We have had almost
all of our paperwork submitted to RTS since October. We have just one last document to get to them
and that is Marks transcripts from BISA.
Unfortunately, BISA has been on their summer break for the last 2 months
and the person in charge of sending transcripts has been out of the office even
before their break started. As slots begin
to fill up down in Atlanta, Mark and I trying to remain positive and
hopeful. This program is very
competitive as there are few positions available and as many men are called to
the ministry later in life. What God
calls you too he will equip you too as well. For the last several weeks I have had these
verses from Jeremiah 29 stuck in my head by no coincidence I am sure, “For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you
seek me with all your heart.” This promise doesn’t mean that my current definition
of “hope and a future” equals God’s definition but I do know that God has a
funny way of growing my definitions to match his.
My 3 prayer requests for this coming year are:
1.
That
God would continue to mold us into his image and make our desires match his.
2.
That
we would, without fear or anxiety, with patience and faith and hope await his
timing.
3.
That
now would be the time that we can finally and wholeheartedly pursue the desires
and call on our hearts.
Praise
be to God and let’s see what he has in store for us in 2014! Happy New Year!!!
REM