God's Grace Abounds

I can't believe I have been so lax in writing.  Life is very busy so maybe I don't have that hard of a time believing it but still I keep thinking I need to post and then just never getting inspired to actually write anything down.  So what has been happening in the Miller household these days? Well let's see here.  The renovation side of life has slowed down as we had to buy a new washer and dryer, fix a car, and spay a puppy.  But honestly that is one of the most wonderful things about owning your own home.  You can go at your own pace and as you can afford it.  Mark and I both have absolutely loved being able to get projects done as we get inspired.  There is no permission to ask. There is no landlord to warn.  There is no parent to ask!  We find ourselves spending most of our down time researching home improvement projects and watching HGTV and DIY network.  Thankfully we both love these channels! 

I have loved getting my sewing machine out and getting it broken in.  I have made curtains for our dining room so far.  I have plans for curtains in the guest rooms and our bedroom, the kitchen and laundry room as well.  But as I said as I find fabric that inspires I can make those.  It is slowly coming together and I really love how it is turning out.  It is great working on this project together.  

I am watching tomatoes come in.  We have about 20 actual tomatoes currently with about 12 more blooms waiting.  It is so exciting see actual fruit!  I can't wait to make fresh salsa and marinara this summer.  I can't wait to share them with anyone who wants them and I am so happy that I literally will have more tomatoes that I will ever know what to do with in order to do just that.

Work has been crazy as we let two employees in my department go.  It has been a relief having them gone as it made for a frustrating and uncomfortable work environment for everyone but with that comes many stresses and many challenges to keep up with the work load.  It has been exciting to see that I am a much harder worker than I ever thought I was.  And it is still a lot of fun and it is interesting learning about the business side of playgrounds.  I enjoy being challenged and I have great supervisors who are very encouraging and patient to answer my endless questions.  It is an enjoyable work environment and once we fill those open positions it will get a lot better.

I am so very thankful for awesome girlfriends that get together on Tuesday nights to have a book study.  It has been so wonderful, edifying, encouraging, and fun to get together with these dear women to learn more about God how to serve him better!  They challenge me and pray with and for me and they really are such a blessing and such a wonderful gift from God of deep community.

My Wednesday nights have freed up for the summer.  I have to say I miss my high school girls.  I still keep in touch with them and see them at church but its not quite the same as getting to pour into them weekly.  They taught me so much over the last school year and challenged me in many ways.  It was wonderful hearing their perspectives and it was so encouraging to hear such precious hearts explore God some in a deeper sense and some for the first time.  It was amazing seeing God at work in their lives.  

Mark is doing well.  We actually have some exciting ministry opportunities ahead of us.  Details will be coming as the processes continues. But I would ask you to be praying for patience and wisdom.  Also pray that we would be open to God's leading.  That we would be willing to be his vessels of service whether his plan leads us down expected paths or down completely unexpected paths.  We are very excited for the opportunities God brings to us.  And I wouldn't rather go through these adventure with anyone else! 

Betty Lou, the newest member of our family, is doing well.  She has settled in very well and is thankfully growing out of her "puppy-ness".  Meaning she doesn't destroy everything and 95% of the time she goes outside when she has to use the bathroom. She had her procedure done yesterday and she is healing well. She has been warned though that if she doesn't stop licking her sutures she will get the cone of shame. A part of me is hoping she doesn't stop because of the vast photo opportunities that would be afforded me.  

Well I think that is everything for right now. I want to get back to more spiritually minded posts again. Soon that will happen I am sure.  So hang in there! 

TTFN

Rachel

Wedding Project #4: Thumb twiddling...

So I am afraid to admit it and jinx myself but I have to say I just a little at a loss as to what to do now in regards to my upcoming nuptials.  Those 2 months of unemployment were really the best thing to happen to me in order to allow for me to focus on planning.  If I had known that I would have that much time on my hands for that long I probably would have set the date for sometime in September.  My fiance and I are both kind of kicking ourselves a little bit on that one.  But God knows and I think November will be a lovely month to have a wedding!  

All in all I have really had such a great time planning this whole thing.  The Lord has remained active in this process with me and things have just beautifully fallen into place.  It has been such a blessing and an added assurance that God is behind this.  

So far I have:

venue

caterer

officiant

music
photographer
videographer

invitations are out

RSVPs are coming in
cake

dresses for me, bridesmaids, and flower girls

flowers

rings (as of today)
Programs are in the works and almost ready to send off to the designer (AKA: my awesome future brother-in-law) 

I am pretty much set!  And it is a great feeling.  I am now at the point where we just have to get the marriage license and we are set!  So now I feel like I am in a little bit of a waiting game.  The next thing on my list is to get my dress in and have my first fitting!  That is going to be a pretty sweet day!

So I guess we can go back to painting and getting the house ready while I wait for the dress to get here.  So in between gazing longingly at the pictures I have of my dress I will be picking out paint swatches and rolling away on the walls of my future home :D

TTFN!

The Future Mrs. Miller 

69 days!

Confessions Of A Chatty Girl: Not So Single White Female

Part 2

January 1, 2012

New Years Day - Sunday

My parents and brother were in town to help me move.  We sat with a few of my friends.  I had not seen him since before I left for St. Louis to spend Christmas with my brother.  I took my family with me to Sunday school and a few of the people were talking about the New Years Eve party that I had missed, the night before.  He walked in just as everyone was telling stories of the night and it struck me that he was A LOT cuter than I remembered.  He carried himself in that same relaxed and easy way and it looked good on him.  Maybe I did like him?  During the class they had asked those on CYAM leadership to stand up so that the new people could know who was on the team.  He stood up.  I hadn't realized he was on leadership.  Another point in his favor.  After class as we were leaving I had a very strong desire to talk to him.  I had left almost immediately and he had stayed back to talk to a few people.  I was trying to figure out what to say and then I remembered that I could talk to him more about my dad being from Indiana since my dad was there and could fill in any blanks in my information.  We talked for a few minutes and then my family and I headed to lunch.  As my dad and I were walking to the car he said almost absently, "You know, he really reminds me of Jamie McBride." (My very dear friend's husband).  This is big because my dad doesn't usually make such complimentary comments about guys so this instantly caught my attention.  And for the rest of the day he was in the back of my mind just kind of hovering.

Over the next several days...

I had kind of ampt up my Facebook stalking.  I was impressed by several stati that he had posted on biblical things and some of his incites on Old Testament passages were very intriguing.  Then I saw a very eye catching post, "...parents coming to see me get ordained as a deacon on Sunday..."  I text my brother right away, "Dude! He is becoming a deacon!" "Wow really? That is pretty impressive." "I know right?!"  So, not only was he on the leadership team for CYAM but he was also being ordained as a deacon.  Whenever I thought of deacons I thought of middle aged men with several kids in high school not a young single and might I add cute guy.  Another point in his favor.  

January 8, 2012

Ordination Day - Sunday

I had decided to go to the ordination service for several reasons.  One of which was I hadn't seen an ordination service in several years and I was curious to see how a church with robes and a choir did it.  And obviously I wanted to support my new friend...ahem.  My plan was to just sneak in the back and sneak out without being seen.  I didn't want to him to know that I had kinda sorta started getting maybe a little bit of a crush.  Okay, so I had the game plan.  We are set.  Sneak in, sneak out.  Piece of cake.  Walk through the doors of the church and boom there he was right in front of me talking to couple of men.  No problem.  He is busy talking he probably didn't even see me.  We are good, we can still make it in without being noticed (when I am being stealthy I apparently talk in third person).  I am just about past him when I hear in my right ear, "Hi there."  I try to play it off.  "Oh hey." Like I didn't know he was going to be there.  "Where are you sitting?"  "Oh I don't know, in the ba..."  "You can sit with me and my parents if you want."  And there went the final nail in the coffin for my stealthiness.  We walk down the aisle together and sit in the VERY FRONT ROW.  He introduces me to his parents and I awkwardly wave to them as I contemplate how my plan could have gone so horribly off course.  His parents were lovely and were very welcoming of me to their pew.  I sit down next to him noting to myself that he smelled really nice.  My mind is racing.  What do his parents think?  Do they find this awkward?  Does he find this awkward?  Is it only awkward because I know that I think he is cute?  Is he just being nice to me?  Is he interested?  We go through the service much like this.  He gets up to be installed and he is youngest guy up there by at least 15 years.  Needless to say I was again impressed.  As I was sitting there watching him take his vows I kept thinking to myself "Is it weird that I find this hot?!"  He comes and sits back down and I am thinking to myself, "Okay there is no denying it now.  I am totally into this guy."  After the service was over he stands up and says, "Me and my parents are grabbing dinner. You want to come with us?"  I pause trying to weigh the level of awkwardness with how bad I didn't want to stop being around him.  I figure it was worth it.  "Sure!"  A few other people end up getting invited and when we all arrive at the restaurant it is him, his parents, his roommate, his roommates parents, his roommates girlfriend, and me.  I am obviously the odd ball.  I end up sitting a chair away from him.  Still wanting to play it cool and not be obvious until I figure this new found attraction out and also until I figure out his feelings towards me.  So I end up between his roommates parents and talking to them the whole evening.  I kept watching him out of the corner of my eye and I see that he is paying very close attention to my conversation.  At one point everyone starts talking about biking and he and his roommate are discussing a particular bike that they liked and wanted to get.  At one point he says, "Yeah, but if I ever get a girlfriend there will be other things I have to save for as opposed to a bike."  As soon as he says this he and I make eye contact for a few seconds it seems.  As I walked away my thought really was just a simple but very meaningful "Oh boy."


To be continued . . .

Confessions of A Chatty Girl: Not So Single White Female

Part 1

I have been batting around the idea of writing this post for some time.  I was debating whether or not y'all would really like to know or if it was just one of those things where I want to tell everyone whether they want to hear it or not.  Well after a little encouragement I decided that yes, I would indeed write this post and as the subject is sitting right next to me I find myself feeling even more inspired if for no other reason than to give a testimony as to how busy and gracious God has been in the last 3 and a half months :)

December 17, 2011

Christmas Party 

I had been at the party for a good 2 hours or so.  I had been chatting with a few people.  I really only knew one or two there so I was trying to make decent conversations with as many as I could to get to know people in my new town.  I had noticed this guy that I hadn't seen before.  He was hanging around a bunch of the other guys and seemed to know pretty much everyone at the party.  I was intrigued with the ease in which he carried himself but really beyond noticing that, he had kind of slipped into my peripheral as I became engaged in another conversation.  After that conversation ended I found myself refilling my punch glass.  I don't remember how he got to my side of the room but before I knew it I am introducing myself to him.  The next hour or 2 I found myself in the most relaxed and easy conversation I had had all night.  It might just have been the most easy and relaxed conversation I had ever had with a guy upon first meeting.  We were talking about anything and everything.  The conversation just flowed so naturally.  I was stunned with how comfortable I was.  And it wasn't just me doing all the talking.  This guy was talking my ear off, in a good way.

    - He had a degree in carpentry.
    - He went back to school to get his bachelors in Biblical Studies.
    - Once he finishes that he will go on to seminary in pursuit of becoming an associate pastor.
    - He was from the same area in Indiana that my dad was from.
    - He came to Chattanooga almost 7 years ago to work for a non profit inner city ministry.
    - He is handy and can fix pretty much anything in the house.
    - He loves to mountain bike.
    - He has a dog.
    - He loves having people over.
    - He has awesome taste in music and movies.

The more I talked to him the more I realized that this guy was something special.  But I can't say that I had those giddy school girl feelings or that instant crush.  I liked him but there wasn't a romantic interest.  However, as I walked back to my car that night I remember hearing my inner voice just say, "He is it."  I wasn't willing to admit quite that much to myself.  After all I had just met this guy but I was willing to acquiesce that he was going to play a very important role in my life, whatever that meant.

I get home from the party and as soon as I walk in Mandi and Sarah could both see on my face that I had something on my mind and that something interesting had happened at the party.  Their inquisitive looks soon won me over and I spilled the beans about this guy I had met.  After listening, they both asked tentatively "So, do you like him?"  Quite adamantly I said "No! I just met him. He was nice but I am not interested like that."  He was just a funny, kind guy who had talked to me and seemed to show some interest in me.  That was all nothing more.  I could tell by the looks on their faces and their pregnant "uh huh"s that they weren't buying it.  But I was not ready to admit anything more.

Over the next several days...

He friended me on Facebook and invited me to a New Years Eve party he and his roommate were throwing.  I was going to be moving into my apartment on New Years Eve so I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it but I said I would definitely try.  He offered to help me move in, but since I was still denying my interest in him I didn't take him up on it because in my mind I did not want to lead him on if he was interested in me.  When move in day arrived I had been sick for the last several days.  I had hoped I would get better in time for the party that night but it was not to be.  I ended up just staying home and sleeping.  But I made sure to write on his wall and tell him that I was sick and couldn't make.  I didn't want him to think I was blowing him off.  He was a sweet guy after all.

To be continued . . . 

Chattanooga So Far

Well it has been a week since I moved here and I am sure that you are wondering how I am doing, beyond what I have posted on Facebook or Twitter.  So here we go...

I still feel pretty transient for obvious reasons.  I am still living out of a suitcase.  I don't have an apartment of my own or a job to support myself.  I still feel like I am on an extended vacation and not like this is my new home.  It won't feel like home for a while even after I get those things.  21 years of "home" is pretty hard to override.  All of these things are very understandable and expected.  It has been such a blessing staying with Mandi and Greg and my niece, Caitrin.  I can't express how grateful I am for them letting me stay here.  Getting to hang out with Mandi and talk to her and catch up on life is so great.  I have missed her since she moved here.  It has been great to watch her grow into her roles as wife to Greg and mother to Caitrin.  I am loving getting a deeper knowledge and understanding of these different sides to her.  Playing with Caitrin on a daily basis and getting to know her little personality and quirks is so exciting.  Each day I learn something new about her that surprises me, makes me laugh, makes me love her more, or all of the above.  Getting re-acquainted with this family unit that I have literally watched from its inception is really such a blessing. In those moments, I know exactly why I moved here.  

That is where the clarity stops, however.  Now please don't misunderstand me.  Just because the rest is very hazy does not mean that I am giving up on the whole idea of moving here.  It doesn't mean that Chattanooga wasn't everything I hoped it would be. Honestly, I still don't know, because after all it has only been a week. I still feel that God directed me here for a reason.  I just am not sure exactly what that reason is yet.  

I went to a great church yesterday, North Shore Fellowship, and really enjoyed the message and the music.  I got a little lost so I ended up getting there a few minutes late which, led to me sitting in the very back (not according to plan) because that was literally the only place to sit other than the balcony.  The church was a lot bigger than I expected.  My pew companions ended up being some tardier college students, probably sophomores at the most, who kept to themselves. Not a surprise, as I remember very clearly what that was like.  One or two of them, I recognized from the soccer game I had went to up at Covenant the night before.  I filled out the visitors card and said I was interested in women's ministry and small groups, but that was as connected as I got, which is not a shock, after all, still first week here.  I was not expecting to be swarmed by people wanting to meet me and get to know me.  I was not expecting to walk out with a mass of new friends and connections on my first week.  Although there was a little idyllic part of me that hoped a more realistic version of this would happen.  Who can blame me, we all do it.  But I didn't put myself out there really either.  So I did not leave disappointed at all.  It seems to be a good solid church and I definitely plan on returning next Sunday.  I plan on being more punctual and get a better seat this time as well.  I know enough about churches to know that these things take time.  Especially in a larger church like North Shore.  

Today, in the shower though, I started thinking about why I am really here.  Before I left I was having coffee with a friend and he mentioned that he hoped I found whatever I was looking for down here.  That has kind of haunted me ever since he said it.  What am I looking for?  It's not friends, because I have great ones that I love dearly back in Lynchburg.  It's not a better church, because Mercy was a phenomenal church.  I know I wanted to be closer to Mandi and Caitrin, but there has to be something else.  I know they aren't the only reasons why I wanted to come here.  I know I wanted to feel like a grown up.  There is something about living in the same town all of your life that you feel perpetually stuck in adolescence.  Was this move about any of those things?  Was this move about finding a new adventure for myself?  Having a change of scenery?  Partially, I am sure those were large factors.  Was I unhappy in Lynchburg?  Toward the end, I can honestly say no I was very happy in Lynchburg.  So why did I leave?  Why am I now in Chattanooga? 

Well here is a thought that struck me in the shower, "where I do my best thinking".  Maybe this move wasn't about me.  Maybe this move wasn't about what I can get out of it or how it will benefit me.  Maybe this move is about other people that I can serve better or in a deeper and fuller way here than I could in Lynchburg.  Because let's face it no matter how happy I was in Lynchburg there was something that felt ill-fitted deep down.  When I drive around Chattanooga I feel very peaceful.  I feel contented and happy.  I breathe deeply and my heart smiles.  That never happened really in Lynchburg.  I don't know if that is some sort of sign but it's a plus.  But again maybe I need to stop trying to answer the question of "What can I get out of this?" and more wonder "What can I make of this? What can I put into this that will glorify God and proclaim the Gospel to people around me, in my sphere of influence?"  Maybe I should have been asking that question all along.

Well that is where my mind and heart are.  That is the answer to that ever so pregnant question of "How are you doing?"  Please keep me in your prayers.  I appreciate them more than you will ever know.  God is so good and He is providing beautiful reminders of His grace.  

TTFN~

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