Confessions of A Chatty Wife!

Gosh, I love typing that word.  Wife.  It holds so much meaning, so many responsibilities, so much joy, a few frustrations, and countless blessings!  As my husband said last night, "It's not always easy but it's always good." It has been a very natural transition.  One of our friends asked us at the wedding if we felt any different.  Mark and I just looked at each other and said "No, it feels like things are finally how they should be."  Living on separate ends of town, in separate homes, living partially separate lives felt more unnatural than marriage.

Behind the Scenes on the Big Day!

So I should start off with telling you that my wedding present from my husband was to get a hotel room for my mother and I to spend the last night of my singleness bonding and catching up since planning the wedding been so all consuming for me the last few months.  I know, AWWWWW, right?  It was really a fun and special time with my mom that I will always remember and I am so thankful to my husband for making that happen.  So the night before the wedding mom and I stayed up late talking and laughing.  

And then...

My day started off VERY early thanks to my very...proactive mother.  You should know, Mama, that I can laugh about it now. At 4:00am, the morning of my wedding, my phone battery began to die and beeped to alert me.  I woke up and turned my phone off so it wouldn't wake Mom.  She was already awake, however, and no sooner had I turned my phone off than I heard her say. "Are you ready to get up?"  At FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING?! Haha. See I am laughing. Haha. She graciously allowed me to sleep 3 more hours and then it was over. "We have stuff we have to do.  We have to go fill up the cars and run over to the cabin and pick stuff up and then we have to get to your hair appointment." Keep in mind my hair appointment was at 10, which was on purpose so that I could sleep in a little before...but that was not meant to be, sigh.  We filled up the cars and got over to the cabin a little before 8.  So we waited around for an hour and a half.  9:30 finally rolled around so we left, stopping at Dunkin Donuts to grab some much needed coffee, on the way. 

And so it begins!

Making progress

End product!

The morning ended up being really fun.  We all sat and talked while my AMAZING hair stylist worked.  After my hair was done we all headed to the venue.  

When we arrived people were already there hard at work!  I was completely blown away by all of my family and friends that came out to help set up!  Everywhere I looked people were busy setting up tables and chairs putting together center pieces, unloading decorations, setting up sound equipment.  It was incredibly humbling and I could never thank all those people who helped enough!  It would not have happened without you!  I am so thankful for God's provision through you.  I have never felt so loved!  After answering a few questions and delegating to my amazingly talented and capable family and friends, I was off to get ready. 

It was really crazy just how incredibly relaxed and chill I was.  I have seen and hear of those brides who are completely crazy on the day of their wedding but not me.  Literally NOTHING could wrile me.  While getting ready I get a text. My photographer is stuck in traffic and will be late.  Not a big deal.  I had already weathered my fiance's car breaking down on the way to work (which has a not so small bill attached to it) and 3 out of my 4 bridesmaids getting stuck in an elevator for 16 whole minutes earlier in the week.  

The infamous elevator...but we are smiling!

I could handle traffic.  A few minutes later I get a phone call.  My fiance and 3 of his groomsmen just got a flat tire on the way to the venue and were stranded on the side of the road.  

Thankfully, Drew was wearing his life preserver.

Calling for back up...

Last minute touchs on the guest book that turned out awesome!

And they all made it safely and Stephen didn't get his shirt diry.

So glad my brother-in-law got pictures of this!  No big deal.  Off my uncle's went to fetch them.  Miraculously, through the whole process of the tire we found some decorations that had been MIA.  See, God provided!  

My amazing and wonderful photographer arrived! Pictures will be coming.  She was snapping pictures left and right.  Then she asked if she could borrow the dress to get some pictures of it outside.  "Sure go ahead!"  We are all still getting all dolled up.  When she returns with the dress I hear my Matron of Honor gasp! "Oh no! Look at the front of the dress!!!" I turn around and burst out laughing.  The entire bust of the dress is COVERED in black dirt!  My photographer has this look of sheer horror on her face and looks like she is about to throw up.  No big deal.  "It is totally fine!  It is just a dress!  I'm sure it will come out!" With a wet rag and a little elbow grease my photographer cleaned it right up.  You would never have known!  See, God provided!

I will stop there for now because I want to make sure that you have pictures to go along with the rest of my day you will have to wait for that.  I also need to go back to doing laundry, go grocery shopping, tidying up, grabbing a few things still left over at my apartment, etc.  

TTFN!

Rachel Miller

Wedding Project #6: T - 14 days!!!!

Oh my word, guys!  I can hardly believe it!  This time last year I was job hunting, praying that I would find something that would keep me in this new town.  And today, I am picking up my wedding dress!  Could you have imagined it?  I certainly couldn't have!  God is incredible! 

So, my last post was not the typical wedding preparation post.  I get that.  Since I wrote that post I have been doing even more praying and I know that y'all have as well.  Thank you!  I began praying very specifically for God to relieve the anxiety, the over analyzing, and the attacks for just a couple of weeks so that I could actually have joy and be excited again.  So that I could revel in the last few days leading up to my wedding and have the anticipation and hope and joy that every bride is supposed to feel!  This is the beginning of a new stage in our lives and this is the beginning of something special and ordained by God.  Everything is done for our good.  Sometimes we can see it and sometimes we can't and this is the time that I should be able to revel in tasting and seeing that the Lord is good.  I want to thank y'all for your prayers!  They have been felt and I am happy to report have been answered!  God has seen fit to allow me the joy that this time warrants and I have been loving these last few days.  I won't lie and say that I don't still have bad days.  But they are fewer and farther between now and the excitement and anticipation is palpable! 

We have started pre-marital counseling and that has been invaluable even just the 2 sessions we have had so far.  It is wonderful having a pastor who is objective that can look at our relationship and encourage the strengths and warn us against pitfalls.  I think that has also been very influential in reminding me just how good this is.

I have pretty much confirmed everything with everybody. I am in the process of making final payments and what not.  Everything is going very smoothly.  It is an odd sensation to know that the wedding is only 2 weeks away.  I keep thinking I am doing everything WAY to early but NOPE! It is about time I got cracking on all the finishing details! 

Please keep the prayers coming!  Pray that everything will go smoothly, that the joy will remain, that everyone will travel safely, and that our marriage would be one that people look at and see Christ.  Also pray for my sanity.  Between church responsibilities, work, wedding, and countless other little things I need as much mental fortitude as I can get.  Much love to all!  I will try to post again before the wedding but I really can't make any promises, haha!

TTFN
The Future Mrs. Miller

EWF seeking GOD: Deliver us from the evil one...

If you haven't noticed, it has been a while since I have posted.  And what I am about to write might seem strange to some of you who read this.  Quite frankly, the reason why I haven't written anything is because I have had absolutely nothing I have wanted to say.  Honestly, I have been hiding from my blog and my readers because I have felt like I couldn't be real with you anymore.  Ever since a few days after our engagement I have had this dark cloud hanging over me.  I didn't know what was wrong with me.  I was getting married!  Shouldn't I be happy?  Shouldn't I be on cloud 9?  Well, before I go any further let me say EMPHATICALLY that this is NOT a broken engagement announcement.  Far from it! 

Last night after my fiance left my apartment I began praying, as I have been for months now.  Father, what is wrong with me? Why am I so negative now? Why am I so insecure? Why am I so spiritually cold? You see since Mark proposed I have been having the hardest time finding joy.  There are moments in the beginning when I was able to basque in God's goodness and blessings as past posts can attest.  But as the wedding date drew closer I began feeling more and more distance between me and, well, everything.  I started reading my Bible more.  It got worse.  I started leading a high school girls Bible study. It got worse.  I started praying more.  It got worse.  I started reading spiritual books on marriage.  It got worse.  I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.  What could possibly be having this kind of effect on me?  Where was this darkness coming from?  It was clear there was nothing medically wrong.  I had just gotten a clean bill of health from my doctor.  And the fact that these feelings were not constant but really only came at very particular times and instances.  They came when I read my Bible; when I prepared my lesson for the high school girls, when I would listen to Christian music, etc.  So what would cause something like this?  And at such odd timing.  I never had a doubt that this is where God wants me and this is the direction He wants me to go and that this marriage is of Him.  Yet my engagement and my spiritual pursuits seemed to be in direct relation to what I was going through.   Mark and my entire relationship is based on a passionate desire for ministry.  We are great encouragement to each other in those pursuits.  We help each other and offer strengths and personal gifts to each other that are otherwise lacking.  We teach each things about God's character and about how He would have us minister and grow in our relationships with Him.  With all of that going for our relationship who could have a problem with it?  So last night as I was praying it struck me.  I was under attack.  Satan has been trying to sabatogue me since I agreed to marry Mark.  Satan has been picking at insecurities in my Father, in my fiance, in the gifts God has given me.  He knows where to attack because he makes it his personal mission to study those in opposition to him.  He has to if he is going to gain any ground in his futile struggle against my Father.  But that is the glorious thing about his struggle. It is FUTILE!  He has no power against the One who holds my future in His hands.  And Satan knows that! But he still fights ever harder.  He can't attack God directly, he can only try to manipulate His people.  Even then only so far as God allows.  Satan is on a leash!  And he is subject to the sovereignty of God.  This not only gives us hope for our own lives but also for every area of life.  Including the election and world news.  Psalm 37 says,

1 Fret not yourself because of evildoers;

be not envious of wrongdoers!

2 For they will soon fade like the grass

and wither like the green herb.

3 Trust in the Lord, and do good;

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.[b]

4 Delight yourself in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him, and he will act.

6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,

and your justice as the noonday.

7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,

over the man who carries out evil devices!

8 Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!

Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.

9 For the evildoers shall be cut off,

but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

10 In just a little while, the wicked will be no more;

though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there.

11 But the meek shall inherit the land

and delight themselves in abundant peace.

12 The wicked plots against the righteous

and gnashes his teeth at him,

13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,

for he sees that his day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows

to bring down the poor and needy,

to slay those whose way is upright;

15 their sword shall enter their own heart,

and their bows shall be broken.

16 Better is the little that the righteous has

than the abundance of many wicked.

17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,

but the Lord upholds the righteous.

18 The Lord knows the days of the blameless,

and their heritage will remain forever;

19 they are not put to shame in evil times;

in the days of famine they have abundance.

20 But the wicked will perish;

the enemies of the Lord are like the glory of the pastures;

they vanish—like smoke they vanish away.

21 The wicked borrows but does not pay back,

but the righteous is generous and gives;

22 for those blessed by the Lord[c] shall inherit the land,

but those cursed by him shall be cut off.

23 The steps of a man are established by the Lord,

when he delights in his way;

24 though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,

for the Lord upholds his hand.

25 I have been young, and now am old,

yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken

or his children begging for bread.

26 He is ever lending generously,

and his children become a blessing.

27 Turn away from evil and do good;

so shall you dwell forever.

28 For the Lord loves justice;

he will not forsake his saints.

They are preserved forever,

but the children of the wicked shall be cut off.

29 The righteous shall inherit the land

and dwell upon it forever.

30 The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom,

and his tongue speaks justice.

31 The law of his God is in his heart;

his steps do not slip.

32 The wicked watches for the righteous

and seeks to put him to death.

33 The Lord will not abandon him to his power

or let him be condemned when he is brought to trial.

34 Wait for the Lord and keep his way,

and he will exalt you to inherit the land;

you will look on when the wicked are cut off.

35 I have seen a wicked, ruthless man,

spreading himself like a green laurel tree.[d]

36 But he passed away,[e] and behold, he was no more;

though I sought him, he could not be found.

37 Mark the blameless and behold the upright,

for there is a future for the man of peace.

38 But transgressors shall be altogether destroyed;

the future of the wicked shall be cut off.

39 The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;

he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.

40 The Lord helps them and delivers them;

he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,

because they take refuge in him.

How can the Psalmist say these things?  Because death has been overcome!  Because Satan has been defeated!  Christ went to the cross in our place to bring that about!  It is because of His sacrifice.  We are living in the fulfillment of the promise God gives Adam and Eve in the Garden after the fall, that Satan would bruise the heal of the Second Adam but that He would crush his head!  Romans 8 says,

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[i] against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.[j] 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So this is by no means a post of surrender.  This is a declaration of war.  Because I can guarantee this is just the beginning.  We are venturing into a veritable mine field in a battle for our marriage for the next 50+ years and we are determined to fight for it because God is for us!  So pray along with us now and throughout our marriage.  Pray for strength because it is not in and of ourselves and our own strength.  And God's strength is sufficient.  So pray for a constant surrendering of our lives to Christ and a dying to self that God may be glorified in this marriage.  And pray especially for me that "Strength and dignity would be [my] clothing" and that I would have joy and be able to "laugh at the time to come" (Proverbs 31:25).
God is at work! The Future Mrs. Miller

Wedding Project #5: Engagement Photos

Here is a sampling of the engagement photos we had done.  Our photographer, Sara Renee, is absolutely awesome and we are so excited to have found her!  She is so easy to pose for and we had a lot of fun!  I was pretty nervous but she set me at ease very quickly.  Sara Renee, you are the coolest!

He sure is handsome :)

I match the tree :)

My personal favorite :)

Couldn't be happier!

We look like this a lot!

This one was a little challenging but I love how it turned out!

TTFN!

The Future Mrs. Miller

Wedding Project #4: Thumb twiddling...

So I am afraid to admit it and jinx myself but I have to say I just a little at a loss as to what to do now in regards to my upcoming nuptials.  Those 2 months of unemployment were really the best thing to happen to me in order to allow for me to focus on planning.  If I had known that I would have that much time on my hands for that long I probably would have set the date for sometime in September.  My fiance and I are both kind of kicking ourselves a little bit on that one.  But God knows and I think November will be a lovely month to have a wedding!  

All in all I have really had such a great time planning this whole thing.  The Lord has remained active in this process with me and things have just beautifully fallen into place.  It has been such a blessing and an added assurance that God is behind this.  

So far I have:

venue

caterer

officiant

music
photographer
videographer

invitations are out

RSVPs are coming in
cake

dresses for me, bridesmaids, and flower girls

flowers

rings (as of today)
Programs are in the works and almost ready to send off to the designer (AKA: my awesome future brother-in-law) 

I am pretty much set!  And it is a great feeling.  I am now at the point where we just have to get the marriage license and we are set!  So now I feel like I am in a little bit of a waiting game.  The next thing on my list is to get my dress in and have my first fitting!  That is going to be a pretty sweet day!

So I guess we can go back to painting and getting the house ready while I wait for the dress to get here.  So in between gazing longingly at the pictures I have of my dress I will be picking out paint swatches and rolling away on the walls of my future home :D

TTFN!

The Future Mrs. Miller 

69 days!

Wedding Project #3 - In All The Details...

DON'T FORGET THE GROOM!

So yesterday and today I made a conscious decision to limit wedding talk to the first 5 minutes of my time spent with my fiance and boy was it worth it!  I hadn't really noticed that with my head perpetually in wedding mode that I was missing out on some serious bonding time with my man! If you are engaged now or if you become engaged at some point in your life make sure to remember the groom.  As I was reading in Dazzled To Frazzled And Back Again "After all, if it weren't for him, you wouldn't be planning your nuptials."  

Seriously ladies I know we can get caught up in the favors, flowers, caterers and cakes but don't forget who made this all possible!  Spend some much needed vacation time from the hustle and bustle and commit to spend some time talking about anything BUT the wedding.  It just might make you fall in love with him all over again and rekindle the excitement of spending the rest of your life with this amazing man God has blessed you with!

Happy planning!

TTFN!

The Future Mrs. Miller

The Wedding Belle Project #2

I keep reminding myself that I have 5 months to get everything done but now that I have a lot of my big ticket items the little things are beginning to pile up.  I feel like I am really on top of things for the most part but the count down on my wedding website is ever glaring at me!  It is all the little things that are collecting but I am having fun thinking about the little things and hopefully finding them will be just as easy as all the big things.

TASKS COMPLETED:
Ceremony/Reception
Photographer
Florist
Music
Wedding Dress
Bridesmaid dresses
Videographer
Officiant
Pre-marital counseling

THINGS I HAVE FIGURED OUT BUT NOT YET TECHNICALLY COMPLETED:
Catering
Reception Emcee
Favors
Invitations
Sound system
Decorations
Hair stylist
Registry
Rehearsal

Now you might think well what else is there left to do.  Something I think the same thing and then I open my Knot account and see over 116 things waiting for me...  We are making progress though!  And it is exciting and fun!  The next big things to finalize is catering and invitations.

I have a book that I read a long time ago that I am going to start reading again...because that is really how I feeling right about now!  But I am having fun I promise!

The Wedding Belle Project #1

It is hard to believe that I will be Mrs. Miller in just a short 159 days!  When I moved here back in October the thought had crossed my mind that odds were good that I would meet someone.  Being an optimist/planner/closet romantic I couldn't help but wonder if that was one of the reasons God was sending me here.  I never would have thought that just after 2 very short months I would meet my future husband or that he would be so obviously suited to me.  From the passion for ministry and people to the quirky sense of humor that keeps me laughing and on my toes.  On one hand I can say that had I known in advance that he was the man I was going to marry I wouldn't have been surprised.  And on the other hand I can also say that I could have never expected to marry someone that was so right for me.  He challenges me with his passion for God and for ministry. He humbles me with his ability to love unconditionally.  He encourages me with his strong faith in the sovereignty of God. The further I go in this planning process the more I thank God for His wisdom in bringing this man into my life.  

As far as all the planning is going I am very happy to announce that we have a venue!  The Barn at Highpoint Farms!  Check it out!  Here are some pictures that my Matron of Honor took on Thursday when we went to go see it!  

View of the dance floor

The lounge

I had a swing like this growing up

So true.

View going out to the yard

We both love dogs and they love us!

The grove and pasture (there are goats you can feed)

We are both so excited for this place and this wedding!  It will be so much fun!

TTFN

The future Mrs. Miller

T - 159

Promised Pictures

Right after being asked

The ring! Bam!

Calling everyone

Telling your mama the good news can be very emotional

Couldn't stop looking at it!

Reenactment of the deed

Love that face of his!

More shots of the bling

I love how he looks at me!

Confessions of a Chatty Girl: Definitely Not So Single White Female

Part 4

I did not realize that I was going to be posting what I am about to write nearly as soon as this but I must say that I am not complaining about the timing of everything.  

May 19, 2012

Last Night 

I had several girls from church over for a girls night.  We were all talking and having a lot of fun and we had just started a movie.  He had been texting me off and on throughout the evening asking how things were going and what not.  At one point around 10:15 I get a text asking how much longer the girls were going to be there tonight.  I said I didn't know but that it would probably be another hour or two as we had just started watching the movie.  He then asked who all was there.  I told him.  A few minutes later one by one the girls phones started to go off signally a text.  I didn't really pay much attention to this.  I went to the bathroom for a moment and while I was gone I heard excited whispers and a few chuckles.  I come back out into the living room and all noise ceases.  Everyone is watching the movie VERY intently and trying to hide smiles on their faces.  I automatically and curious about what I missed and still why I had not received a text at the same time as the other girls.  

I sit back down on the couch and no sooner had my backside hit the cushion than I heard a knock on the door.  Instantly I think what in the world.  I answer the door and it is him standing there with a big grin on his face dressed in a nice shirt and jeans and looking very handsome I might add.  I also noted that looked like he was about ready to jump out of his skin.  I said "What are you doing here?"  He said "I have to steal you."  In a tone that made it clear he was not asking but telling.  That got my attention for sure. It is very attractive when he takes charge like that.  I am a little taken aback and I look to the other girls trying to think how to explain what is happening and they have already begun packing up their stuff and practically had one foot out the door already.  In a bustle of activity I grabbed my keys and shoes (forgetting my phone) and was whisked off into the night by the guy of my dreams (cheesy I know sorry but I kind of like him a lot so deal with it).  

AS we are driving in the car I am thinking "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! This is not happening.  He is not proposing is he?"  As we drive along we talk about our days and swap stories of things that happened.  And then I figure I need to do some investigating.  I start bringing up particular subjects like "I was talking to mom about wedding dress shopping and she asked if it would be weird doing it without a ring because as far she knew I wasn't going to be getting one before June unless I knew something she didn't."  He answers very nonchalantly "I was looking at some rings today and I think I can have a ring by June still."  I try desperately to read him.  He was actually doing a pretty good job.  I tried to think back to when he could have talked to my dad and when he could have gotten a ring.  I couldn't think of any unaccounted for time in the past few days so the doubt became even larger.  I knew he had been acting suspicious the last couple of days but as far as I knew he was just planning something special for our 4 month which was coming up on Monday and he was planning on doing something on Sunday the last I had heard not tonight!  "So where are we going?"  I ask.  "Somewhere." He deflects.  We drive up Lookout Mountain and head towards Covenant College.  We pull into the parking lot and he looks anxiously to the other cars.  I am not sure why he is finds the other cars so interesting all of a sudden but we start walking toward the looking out point.  There is a little bench there where you can sit and enjoy the view.  We get up to the place and instead of looking out at the view he is looking rather anxiously at the ground below us.  Suddenly I hear him call out "Kukaw kukaw!" like a crow.  This doesn't necessarily phase me because this is not so out of the ordinary for him to do random funny things like this.  After standing there a few moments I say, "What was that?"  He shrugs and says, "I don't know I just felt like doing that.  I think there is a fountain over here!"  I follow him to the fountain and think, "Seriously?  You brought me all the way to see a fountain?  This couldn't have waited until tomorrow?"  "Oh look there are fish in the fountain!"  In my head, uh great who cares about a fish?  Outloud I say, "So, why are we up here again?"  "Oh, uh, to look around and see the city lights and stuff."  In my head, uh huh, sure..."Kukaw, kukaw!"  In my head, ok one time was ignorable but two times is suspic... "Whoo, whoo!"  Was that a response I heard?  I hear a twig snap to my left and then there is a flash of light and I look over and see a dark figure in the shadows that looks familiar.  I turn back to him and he says, "So I prayed that God would bring me someone to help me do ministry, because I knew I couldn't do it alone.  So He brought me you."  He gets down on one knee, pulls out the ring..."So will you be my wife?" 

Needless to say...I said YES!!!!!!     

TTFN!

The future Mrs. Rachel Miller

P.S. That dark figure was his roommate and there will be pictures of the moment coming in the very new future :)