Life Goes On

Life after college so far hasn't been to different from life in college.  I still live in the same town.  I still work for the same business doing the same thing.  I still live in the same apartment.  I still hang out with most of the same people.  The only thing that is really difference is that I am not getting graded for anything I do, and let me tell you that is just fine by me.  People told me that after college I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't have homework and didnt have a grade to be working for.  Well maybe I am just not that type of person but the fact that I am not getting graded for anything has not left me at a loss as to how my life is going or how much worth I have in life.  Something that God has been showing me is that life goes on.  Yes, there are disappointments.  Yes, there are set backs but the sun still rises every morning and sets every evening.  Church comes every Sunday.  Rent still has to be paid.  My car still needs gas on a regular basis.  I still have friendships that need to be invested in to survive and you know that really isn't so bad.  Sure it may seem mundane and dry and at times I would agree with you.  But for the most part and over all in its own small way my life is fulfilling.  Even if I am still in the same town I have been praying to get out of for years.  God isn't done with me.  I still have His glory and His enjoyment to live for.  It's not certain as to what is in my future but it is certain that I won't be alone for a second of it.  And that has made all the difference.  This mindset that God is growing in me has made life less bleak at times when I want to give up.  It's not about me and what happens in my life its about who God has put into my life for me to serve right where I am no matter where that is.  It is about reading my Bible and growing in my knowledge and love of God.  It's about facing my demons head on with Christ as my defender.  Life is not about me.  It is about who and what is a reflection of Christ.  When you spend your time looking for that everything else just doesn't seem so bad. 

Now please don't think that I am just smiling all the time and nothing ever gets me down.  Trust me a few days ago I could not have written this post.  I have my dark times when I feel like the whole world is against me and it is only my head knowledge that God does in fact care about me that gets me through the heartbreaks and disappointments (job hunting can be very discouraging) but by the shear grace of God life goes on and He knows exactly what to do to snap me out of my pity parties and get me to see that it's all about him.  A few days ago, when I had once again been turned down for a job that sounded just perfect for me and that sounded so promising I was having one of my drama queen pity parties where God didn't love me and just liked to tease me with good things only to rip them away at the last minute and laugh mercilessly at my tears (yes, my heart is that corrupt and melodramatic, haha!) an excerpt from 2 Corinthians 12:9 kept coming to mind.  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I didn't know why it kept sitting in the front of my brain and then I looked up the whole verse "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." It hit me that what was making me so depressed was that my pride had me thinking that I was the most important person ever and I didn't understand why the God of the universe could even think that he had a better plan or better lesson for me then what I had devized myself.  "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."  Again it is not about me.  It is about Christ being manifested in my life through gladness and sorrow; through victory and failure.  So it is my prayer as in Galatians 6:14 "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."  May it be his glory manifested in my life and not that of my own doings because "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away." (Isaiah 64:6)
Life goes on and God is at work.
TTFN
Rach~