Confessions of A Chatty Girl: The Last Year...

It's my birthday again!!! Yep, that's right.  Another year has gone by and it has been a full one.  The craziness started with quiting my job and moving to Chattanooga completely on faith trusting that God would provide everything I would need and it hasn't stopped since. Once I moved here there was a lot of adjustments which I am still getting used to.  I had to realize that Chattanooga was not Lynchburg.  Covenant was not Mercy.  My friends here were not my friends back in Lynchburg.  In the first few months of living here there was definite doubts and homesickness.  I missed my mom and dad.  I missed my church.  I missed my friends.  I missed the familiarity of my surroundings.  I missed knowing a town like the back of my hand.  I missed my comfort zone. I can't lie and say that there aren't times when I get homesick or I miss certain things about my prior life in Virginia but now I don't doubt for a minute that this is definitely where God wants me.

In just the very short 8 months that I have been in Tennessee I have learned a lot about myself and about different sins that I had yet to identify.  Being in a new place with new people and new situations has brought to light a lot of things about myself that I didn't know.  For instense, until I moved here I prided myself on what I called southern charm.  I thought that was a great asset and a wonderful trait until I realized what the second half of the definition was,

           South-ern charm (srn chärm): n

                 The art of making someone feel special, welcomed, loved, and/or appreciated when in their company, even though one secretly dislikes, mocks, or gossips about them when not in their company.

Turns out Southern Charm isn't so charming afterall. The real trait and asset I needed to be cultivating was charm that is born out of genuine Christ-like love for others and is therefore missing that second half in its definition. That is just called the Gospel lived out.  God has brought into my awareness how I was decieving myself in thinking I really loved people when all I really was doing was being fake.  By God's grace He has made me aware of this tendency in my life.  Please be praying with me as I see to be moulded by the Gospel in this very specific area.  

One of the biggest tools that God has used to besides a change of scenary has been my future husband.  It is amazing how being in such a close relationship with someone can highlight so many sins in your life and even just strange oddities about your personality that you didn't know you had.  Until he came along I thought I was selfless and humble.  I thought I was practical and easy-going.  It hasn't been all bad obviously the things he has brought out in me though.  I thought I would have a hard time submitting to anyone's headship other than my father's.  I thought I was afraid of commitment.  I thought I was to independent to ever really be married.  I thought peers were the only people group I could minister to.  

This year has been a learning experience for sure.  My 20th year was far different from my 21st.  My 21st will be far different from my 22nd.  I have had to trust God in ways and at depths I didn't think possible.  I have had triumphs and set backs.  I have had exciting changes and terrifying ones.  I have had times of being scared out of my mind and times of complete peace and security in who God is and what He is capable of.  God continues to prove Himself faithful.  As I have said before the future is unknown its scary and exciting all at once.  One thing is for sure though.  No matter what is ahead in year 22 I know that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  And you can take that to the bank.

So happy birthday to me and heres to another year of discovering how God is going to use me!

TTFN

Rachel