The Verdict

So in case you missed it on facebook.  I did not get the RUF internship.  The few days after Marc and Parker told me were pretty tough.  I was heartbroken and it still is sad to think that I will not be doing the internship this year.  I cried for a long time and tried to understand and beg God to tell me why and he showed me.  It wasn't anything audible but it was more of him showing me through some hard self-examination and honesty that I really am not ready.  And man was that a blow to the pride.  The internship is a really difficult experience.  It is a wonderful one but very difficult.  All of the fears that I mentioned in previous post might have been my subconscious, AKA the Holy Spirit, trying to prepare me for this disappointment.

God is using this to grow me spiritually, mentally, and emotionally and I am so very thankful for that.  It is not fun but it is worth it and good for me.  God is still at work and I don't and haven't doubted it for a second.  I don't know what he has planned for me next.  I am currently job hunting in Charlotte, NC, Chattanooga, TN, and Myrtle Beach, SC.  I am planning on staying at my current job here in Lynchburg until I find something else.  I have so many people to love and be loved by.  At this point that is all I know and that is really all I can know.  This certainly threw a wrench in my planning but I know my God and myself well enough to not be surprised by it anymore :)  He will open up opportunities and experiences through this that I would never even realize could be possible.  I am still excited about the future and I am still relying on God to use this and the future to grow me into the woman he wants me to be.  I will continue to look for opportunities to use the gifts he has given me to serve him and others. 

As for RUF specifically, they told me to reapply next year, which I might do!  That all depends on where God takes me though.  I have registered for Summer Conference and I am so extremely excited about that!  I continue to go to large group and Sweet Briar small group.  Basically at this point life goes on and God is so very good to allow that to be true.  Just because RUF might have fallen through doesn't mean that I won't continue to update you through this.  And who knows I might try again next year and we can go through this whole process together again :) The name of the blog and the URL will change slightly but I will be sure to notify you before that happens.  I have to think of a really good name first :)

I love you all and thank you so much for your prayers and support and interest! Please know that it means more to me than I could ever express!

TTFN!
Rach