The spring semester of 2009 was over and summer was upon us and with that came Summer RUF. We met at Marc and Amy's house and had dinner then an awesome time of study and discussion over the book The Enduring Community by Brian Habig and Les Newsom. This sort of began an outward facing attitude that until that summer had been sorely lacking in my life. Up until that point I cared more about my own spiritual well being then that of anyone else's. No one else mattered really. My spiritual life was between me and God and no one else need stick their nose in my business right? Wrong. We are built for community. We are not meant to enter the doors of a church either single or in our own group of friends, sit down in our group of friends and then as soon as the service is over leave with our group of friends counting it as a success that no awkward conversations were had with people we didn't know. People do this constantly and I know I am guilty of it as well and then they wonder why no one talked to them. They leave the church thinking it an unfriendly and clickish. Well why do they have to be the ones talking? Why can't we actually go up to someone and introduce ourselves? The community street is not one way. We are constantly going to a church with our entitled attitudes expecting to be served and ministered to. Do we ever once go into a church asking "How can I serve and to whom can I minister?" Well through those discussions I began to see that I was failing miserably when it came to community. The Lord really put on my heart and desire to serve for, get this, UNSELFISH reasons! Now don't get be wrong I am still learning how to do that. I still catch myself with ulterior motives to serving. Either for peoples praise or for rewards. I am still constantly having to remind myself that it is for God's glory and because he has commanded me to do this not for my own personal glorification. But praise the Lord I am actually aware of that tendency now and I can remind myself and watch out for those sins.
Well summer closed and school started back up. The intern, Parker as we call her, came and soon began meeting with girls and doing everything that an intern should. RUF had been moved to Marc and Amy's home permanently and new people would poor into their basement every Thursday. As the semester continued Parker did her job and I went about my business until one day I received a Facebook message from her asking to meet with me. I was very intrigued and excited to talk with her one on one. From that meeting on we realized that we had so much in common and we soon became very close. I began seeing what an awesome thing she was doing for the girls at RUF including myself. She was encouraging and a great listener and really made you think about things. It was just what our girls needed, especially me. God really used Parker to peel away the layers of protection and selfishness that were keeping me from seeing God's leading.
In January 0f this year RUF went on a missions trip to the South Side of Chicago. Why we went to Chicago in January I will never fully know but I am so thankful we did. It was there that God really began to work heavily on my heart and begin to whisper his guiding. While in Chicago our main mission was to build relationships with people and the longer we were there the more I learned that my idea of missions was completely skewed. Whenever I had thought of ministry and missions before I got this image of a Preacher thumping his Bible on the street corners or huge revivals where thousands of people came to Christ. But in Chicago God opened my eyes to see that was not the norm. Ministry is building relationships with people. It is being there with them through the hard times and the easy times. It is sitting down with someone and asking genuinely "How are you doing?" It is coming a long side someone and crying with them when they are going through pain. It is laughing and rejoicing with people. It is living for people and serving people just as Christ did when he was here. It is loving people and accepting them in their brokenness because I am broken too. It is reaching out to people and meeting them where they are. As Parker recently told me it is staking up chips with people so that when they ask you why you are the way you are you can cash them in and they will hear and respect you and maybe even come to Christ. On one of the last nights in Chicago I ask Marc and Parker about internship. I had mistakenly thought that it was only for people who were going to seminary after. But they both explained to me that was not the case. As soon as they said that it was like the flood gates opened and I finally knew where God had been leading me all these months. I was finally excited about the future.
Since returning from Chicago the Lord has continued to lay on my heart the need for ministry. He has opened up some doors for ministry here in town and he continues to work on my heart and guide me. I am more committed then ever to the RUF internship and I am so excited to begin the application process. I continue to talk to Parker and Marc to get as much information and advice as I can so that I can be as prepared as possible. I continue to trust God with his leading and lean on him for everything, well at least I am trying :)
I will continue to keep you updated on my application process and my journey. Right now the scariest thought is how will I ever raise all the support. But again God is in control and he will work it all out. I just have to be willing to listen.
TTFN! (ta ta for now)
Rachel
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